oh baby, this shouldn't be the way. i'm supposed to be putting aside all distractions and focus on my subjects ): where's the zest to study?


i'm very depressed.
if only time moves at my pace.


i'm so lost ços there's too much to do.

Lippppyyytatt.

A few days back. fi and i tied a note to a balloon and release it into the air.
Hoping that the universe will receive our note and respond to our wishes.

hey i'm amanda.

I have no idea what to blog.
I think my life is gonna bore me to death.


It's two weeks back since i had fun and it was during johnny and cheeboon's 18th birthday chalet. Oh man, the people around me are all turning 18. I'll miss those days that we have to queue so long for underage parties. I'll miss those days when you guys have to "smuggle" me,sherri and ivy into NC16 movies. The day at suntec when we had to switch to another cartoon movie wall-e instead of 4bia. Now that i'm already 16. You guys are moving on to the next level. It's been a year and the half together with you guys. From young punks, we became the way we are now. sometimes we look at people with a different point of view not realising that they were shadows of us. The earth is revolving, humans are changing.


There are always times that i really hate it when you people hide things behind my back. I hate being cheated on. But despite everything, i knew that it's still for the sake of the relationship between me and hao.


The days when we sat at some places talking about everything under the sun. Talking about our past. Talking about aliens. Talking about blackhole. Talking about Davinci. Talking about 2012. Getting mr ong cheeboon to open his golden mouth. Alvin gave himself a nickname woshixiaohu. Johnny called himself woshixiaoxiong. To think that they can come up with such names for themselves back then. The stars frenzy> our starboy mr smelly alex. The dogs frenzy> mr alvin who walks with his head slanted to the side and now the sausage frenzy> woshiahchris. The ultimate bad guy> mr big bird. There's even the burning yourself with cigarrete butts frenzy. Too much to recall.


I'm getting a little bit off-track.


Alright, now i have to put more focus on this upcoming exam.
This is really draining me out.

This week- complete all physics TYS.
2nd week- complete all chem TYS
3rd week- SS
4th week- geog.
Remaining- Literature.

So much to do but it's gonna be over soooonnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!
It's a pity that i do not have a boyfriend who sits next to me revising our work together.
But i have a boyfriend who plays with me the moment i end school late feeling very moodless, a boyfriend who talks nonsense with me, a boyfriend who force me to make lunch (spaghetti + soup of the day) with him, a boyfriend who bugs me to go ntuc with him to get all kinds of snack.
Someone who bears all the biting from me.


TO BED NOW! g'night.

i am currently finding something to distract myself from the fact that i'm being shoved aside again to a blind spot in your heart.


Fi got me roses last month accompanied by a card.
"yi ye my love. firstly happy monthsary, secondly i'm sorry for being such a lousy boyfriend. lots of love, ***jason, your lovely husband-to-be."
I swear i can even smile in my dreams back then.


I'm so proud of myself today.
I actually finished almost 3 physics paper from TYS. This is so satisfying. I was spending half of the day with keefe STUDYING>EATING>DOTA and we got pawned in all the games like some chiwawas. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i've no backup plans if i fail my o level.
this is so sad!

i'll come back with a proper post i promise :)

Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive

Amanda Ong & Jason Serizawa like this *thumbs up* :)

Kaven's

HAHAHAHAHHA KAVEN'S 18th BIRTHDAY.

this sucks.

I'm having maths tuition in another 1/2 hour.

I just came home from afternoon chem/physics study session.

Study session was screwed because eefan, wenfen and i sat together. We had so much fun that we forgot all about studying.

I postponed 2 weeks of tuition due to my desire of meeting fifi after school lessons which end at 5 or 6pm everyday.

I didn't like the idea of not seeing fifi a day, i'll feel sad.

Before i sleep, we used to plan how we're going to meet tomorrow.

Hence, i woke up the next morning with something worth looking forward to.

I waited eagerly for 5pm each day ços i know fi'll be waiting for me at the bus-stop behind.

Yet now, i gotta wake up everyday bearing it in mind that my plans for the day doesn't include fi.

):

Tell me why do i have to always be the one getting hurt.
Tell me why do i always have to be the one being stuck in a situation of being hurt so much yet i can do nothing but to forgive and pretend that nothing has happened?
Tell me what wrong have i done to you for the past one year three months.
Do you know how much my heart is crying out to you.
Do you know how long it takes to fix a broken heart.
If you've loved me from the start, why do you even bear to do this to me.
Why must it be you to break the trust i have in you again and again.
Tell me how many more chances you need?
I've tried, but i'm tired.


Is this what's supposed to happen if you commit too much to a relationship?
How ironic.